PRINCETON UMC
For the nine years that Tom Shelton has been at Princeton UMC, he has helped children and youth absorb the messages of Christ through words and melodies – including some he wrote himself. Perhaps even more important, Tom has modeled how to show grace and compassion. What is his definition of grace and what helps him find it?
“God’s grace is everywhere, and it manifests itself in different ways,” says Tom. “I don’t want to relate it to good deeds, because it’s not. It’s the way you spread kindness, the way you treat someone on the street, the way you follow the teachings of Jesus.”
Tom says he and his four sisters learned about grace from their mother, “the most grace-ious person I have ever met in my life. I get my positive spirit from her,” says Tom. “She is the best mother in the world.”
Then, in 18 years of teaching in a North Carolina middle school, Tom had plenty of practice dealing with roiling hormones and teenage angst.
“You can’t believe what happens in the three minutes when classes change,” says Tom. “I would stand at the door and smile at every student because I might be the only person that smiled at them that day. I gave them a chance to start over. To teach them how we are all different and can get along. We don’t have to agree, but we respect each other.”
Now, navigating today’s divided world, he tries to keep in mind that everyone is under stress. “Compassion is a really beautiful thing. I try to remember that their actions are not a reaction toward me. It is what they are dealing with. I personally try to give them grace to deal with that situation.”
Beyond his faculty roles at Rider University and the Princeton Girl Choir, Tom’s impressive resume includes being past president of the American Choral Directors Association, conducting choir festivals and honor choirs in Carnegie Hall, 20 states, and some foreign countries, and publishing 70 of his own compositions. Yet when we see Tom, he is playing games with little kids or taking eight high school girls through their vocal exercises. How does grace play a part in this work at Princeton UMC?
He explains the contrast between the podium at Carnegie Hall and the games with youngsters in green choir robes: “With every situation your expectations are different. The people before you have different backgrounds and in what they are bringing musically. I love the Pre-K group. They love games, singing, everything. The 2nd-5th grade group also have a love for what they are doing, even though sometimes they don’t act like they do. And this youth choir, with only eight people, sings better than any group I have ever had.”
Surely that’s because they’ve been coming to choir practice all their lives? Yes, he’s known some since kindergarten. “You know who they are, you are not starting over. It’s a trust factor. The best choir is one where everybody feels confident to sing by themselves. They can sing in four parts and are very brave.”
One favorite ‘grace’ opportunity here is that he can write music for these singers. During Covid, he wrote and produced “I See God” for 15 children, ages four through eleven, using their words to create songs about prayer, baptism, and the Beatitudes. “I took all their ideas
and put them into where they see God.” Tom is also especially grateful for the diversity of the PUMC community. “I grew up in the South. I love that our church is truly a melting pot – it makes me so happy.” How will grace infuse his life in the future?
“I think music is a gift from God,” says Tom. “When you are a musician, and it’s what you choose to do with your life, you have an emotional connection to the lyrics you sing. No matter how old you are, make sure there is something in your life to connect to that song – or it’s just words, and the message that comes across is totally different.”
He tells about a third-grade class in North Carolina that was so rambunctious he had to be very strict. But one day when he had them sing a really pretty little song, one girl ended up sobbing. It reminded her of her grandfather who had just died. Then a little boy started crying about his dog that had passed away. Then a third person cried. “The teacher asked, ‘What have you done to my class?’ That’s when I realized that even young kids can connect text and music to life’s experiences, and it makes a difference in their lives.”
Music is so important to Christian Formation, he says. “What you are teaching – stories, love, about Jesus – they will remember for the rest of their lives. They will remember scriptures, but they will REALLY remember songs.
See the fruits of Tom’s grace-ious leadership on May 14th at PUMC’s Children’s Musical, “Called.”
